Asking Questions in the NICU

Advice for New Parents: How to Ask Questions in the NICU

1. Write questions down.The NICU can feel overwhelming, and it’s easy to forget what you wanted to ask. Keep a notebook or use your phone to jot down questions as they come to you.

2. Ask for clarification.If a provider uses medical terms you don’t understand, it’s okay to say, “Can you explain that in simpler words?” or “What does that mean for my baby?”

3. Use open-ended questions.Instead of asking yes/no questions, try:

• “What’s the next step in my baby’s care?”

• “What should I be looking for when I’m here with them?”

• “How can I best support my baby right now?”

4. Repeat back what you hear.Saying, “So just to be sure I understand, you’re saying…” helps confirm that you’ve got the right information and shows the team you’re actively listening.

5. Know who to ask.Doctors, nurses, therapists, and social workers all play different roles. If you’re unsure who to ask, start with your nurse—often they can answer or connect you to the right person.

6. Don’t be afraid to ask again. You may need to hear the same explanation multiple times, especially when you’re tired or emotional. It’s okay to say, “Can you go over that once more?”

7. Ask about participation.Parents often want to know how they can be involved. A helpful question is, “Are there things I can do during care times to help my baby?”

8. Prioritize your questions.If time with the provider is limited, ask your most important questions first. For example:

• “What are the biggest concerns for today?”

• “What milestones are we looking for before discharge?”

9. Lean on the care team for emotional support. It's okay to ask, “Can someone explain this to me later when I feel calmer?” or “Who can I talk to about how overwhelming this feels?”

10. Remember—no question is too small.Your baby’s care team wants you to feel informed and empowered. Even questions that feel “obvious” are worth asking if they help you feel more confident.